I realized a few weeks ago when I walked into my first doctor's office in Little Rock that I am none other than an Uppity Negro. I am the light skin black girl who dislikes slang, sloppiness, and rooms that make me feel as if I'm in a free clinic. I don't necessarily think I'm better than others I just feel that I desire more and higher quality things.
I sat in the waiting room on my day off, frustrated because I had broke out into hives, yes I know it sounds terrible. But the red welt marks that stretched across every part of my body except my face apparently appeared as a result of stress. My appointment was at 10 a.m. and I sat there looking around at a room full of Black patients and little kids running around, with only two or three empty chairs remaining.
I pulled out my phone, sent a text to my Auntie Marcie, my LS Courtney, my Sister and the hubby that read, "AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH I'm sitting in the doctors office, it's too many negros in here, I am a light skin bougie female I can't handle this!"
The replies, were as hilarious and ridiculous as my text. Courtney's pro-black reply consisted of a series of hahahahahaha's and my aunt's, "you may need to find a doctor outside the city", didn't seem to calm the situation much.
At 11:45 a.m. when the nurse finally called me behind the heavy locked doors that lead to the examination room I realized that this experience was significantly different that those at my Fremont, Michigan Pine Medical waiting room with the colorful play school castle and toys in one corner and the nicely cushioned wooden chairs.
And, now that I catch myself repeating my sentences to correct the way I elongated one of my vowels (refusing to attach myself to any type of a southern accent), and correcting my facial expression (of scrunched-up eyebrows and a flared nose like my LS ResaJean) after I read a message that has the words, "nut'n, cha or dat" in it, make me realize that I've enjoyed the privileges of growing up in upper middle class communities.
I was the Black girl competing to show all white teachers and students that I was more than adequate. I was the light skin girl on the University of Michigan's campus' that didn't bit my tongue and was involved in everything that I could be.
I've only associated with those who were like minded. Coming from a P.W.I., the "black folks" all think they are better than the next. I don't like being around people who aren't concerned with bettering themselves. Coming to Arkansas wasn't a serious culture shock, but oh my how we do things differently in the North. Yes, I am Yankie and I'm proud of it!
Not to down everyone from Arkansas, so for any of you reading this please do not get offended. But, simply re-reading messages before you send them is important.
