The Storm

I write these blogs knowing that most likely no one is reading them. But, it helps to get my thoughts out.

Lately things have been running through my mind non-stop and I worry about how I'm going to get everything accomplished. I found the biggest, darkest piece of gray hair in my head the other day when I was curling my hair and I knew that it was all because of my stress.

I'm worried about how I'm paying for fall, what I'm going to do about my broken car, how my bills are going to get paid, etc. Sometimes it feels like when the sun is just coming out a cloud approaches.

My buddy made it clear to me the other day, My blessings and my deliverance can't come without a storm. In church today, the minister discussed how God has to break us down sometimes in order to build us back up. I'm taking this as my storm, and God knows I've been broken. Thursday when my car went out all I could do was let a tear fall and tell myself that I had to believe in God.

I have to remember that if God said it was so then it is so, he told me that I was going to get my degree from UofM, and I know he didn't bring me to my Senior year for me not to be able to finish because of $. I've had a roof over my head for nearly 21 years and I know God isn't going to fail me now....I just have to trust in him....and continue to put my faith in him and I know I'll be alright.

The other day I had to put things in perspective.....life could be worse.....

I'm thankful for God's mercy, and for his love, and for the people that he's put in my life.

House by the Side of the Road

Samual Walter Foss
public domain 1899

THERE are hermit souls that live withdrawn
In the place of their self-content;
There are souls like stars, that dwell apart,
In a fellowless firmament;
There are pioneer souls that blaze the paths
Where highways never ran-
But let me live by the side of the road
And be a friend to man.

Let me live in a house by the side of the road
Where the race of men go by-
The men who are good and the men who are bad,
As good and as bad as I.
I would not sit in the scorner's seat
Nor hurl the cynic's ban-
Let me live in a house by the side of the road
And be a friend to man.

I see from my house by the side of the road
By the side of the highway of life,
The men who press with the ardor of hope,
The men who are faint with the strife,
But I turn not away from their smiles and tears,
Both parts of an infinite plan-
Let me live in a house by the side of the road
And be a friend to man.

I know there are brook-gladdened meadows ahead,
And mountains of wearisome height;
That the road passes on through the long afternoon
And stretches away to the night.
And still I rejoice when the travelers rejoice
And weep with the strangers that moan,
Nor live in my house by the side of the road
Like a man who dwells alone.

Let me live in my house by the side of the road,
Where the race of men go by-
They are good, they are bad, they are weak, they are strong,
Wise, foolish - so am I.
Then why should I sit in the scorner's seat,
Or hurl the cynic's ban?
Let me live in my house by the side of the road
And be a friend to man.

My Path...

I had to take a week to separate myself from everything else and I think it went pretty well.... I've been so content for almost three weeks now. I put my situation in God's hands and believed in him...and knew that I had to have patience.
I want people to understand that the point I am at in my life right now, I had to begin making decision for me, rather than others. I was at a point where I constantly worried about how my actions would affect others. I thank everyone who has contributed to helping me become the woman that I am today. But, as Madea says it "some people are only in your life for a season" and for many their season has ended.
I believe God, has showed me some real things these past few weeks, and I just have to continue to be strong through this transition.... and I know that if I continue to look ahead the benefits will be AMAZING....

Freedom

I feel like a huge load has been lifted off of me....for so long I was holding onto grudges that were only making life more difficult for me. And, I've been able to see how far I've drifted from the old Van. I do admit not all of my changes have been bad but I needed to get back to the basics.

I'm thanking God right now because my finances have been really rough but I have an interview on Monday and my financial aid is being taken care of so I know I'm blessed.